June 23, 2001
Tonight I’m alone on a Saturday night, playing music loud on my new system, organizing titles and such. I’m alone by choice, Vange, Cristin, and Megan went off to see “Fast and Furious,” a movie I didn’t want to see.
I’ve been working a lot with the videos lately. Vange had a funny comment. She loved them, she said, but for the kids, not for her. I was puzzled. “They make me sad,” she said. “They make me regret. So many things we didn’t enjoy enough, it went by so quickly, so much we should have done that we didn’t.” I was struck by that … it’s related.
It hit me tonight when I was playing old songs and things began to hurt. The passage of time, children getting older and being adults, sand running through fingers. How can good memories hurt? I look at old photos and I love them so much, but how much it hurts that so much time has gone by and won’t come back. I don’t think I regret. But things hurt.